So here I am encouraging you all to have hope, faith, and prayer, yet I wasn’t necessarily adhering to the prescription. I’m sure it happens to us all: we can tell our friends and family to be encouraged and give specific scripture to help them with their situations, but when we go through something, we fail to encourage ourselves.
The whole reason my family and I decided to blog was to share our experiences with prayer, doubt, faith, hope, answered prayers and whatever else God put on our hearts to share.
I’ve been dealing with some doubt. I don’t know. I feel like I’m just in a holding pattern. I try to pray, but I often times don’t even know what to say. I say I try, but I actually do pray. If I don’t say anything else, I say thank You. But that’s not what God wants from me. He wants a real relationship with me (and you), and truth be told, I want the same.
God is urging me to commune with Him in prayer. I know because of what I experienced at the Women’s Prayer Breakfast (If you follow our Facebook page, www.facebook.com/hopefaithprayers, you may have seen us check-in.), and the Word that came down the next day at church. The pastor of the church I attend preached from Isaiah 40:28-31. One of the points he made was at v.31: they will walk and not be faint.
The pastor called us to be OK with the ordinariness of life (the walk..not the run, nor the soar). This is how I know, God is urging me to really commit to Him. That is what I am struggling with: I feel like I’m waiting on the next phase of my life to begin. I’ll admit, I am sometimes discouraged because it has not happened in my time.
At the women’s breakfast, we received a book: 30 Days to a More Dynamic Prayer Life: Making God Your Focus by John Franklin. Last night (Sunday), I was going to read the introduction so that I would be ready to begin Monday morning, but I had pattered around the house doing this and that so much so that by the time I settled down I was too sleepy to focus. I said to myself, I will read it tomorrow and start Tuesday morning.
Tuesday, my absolutely adorable chi-weenie, usually sleeps through the night, but last night she didn’t. She got up about 3:30 am, so I got up and let her out. She came back in but was still restless, so we went back out. After all of that, I was wide awake……I read the introduction.
I know God is calling me to come into better fellowship with Him, and I really believe He won’t move me forward until I move Him forward, to the front of my life, beyond just good intentions.
Will you pray for me as I work through these feelings?