2 Corinthians 12:9 New Living Translation
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
As slowly as 2014 crept in, it seemed to creep out just as slowly; I don’t believe the sun ever shined that year. I was left with a mountain of questions without answers. I played over and over all the decisions I had made in my life, trying to find the clues to the missing puzzle and which wrong road I turned on.
I spent time reading all that I could, searching and searching. What I know now is this: God is in control. He always has been, always will be. I could muster up question after question, but in the end the answers no longer matter. I had to wake up and realize just who God is. If I believed in God, I also had to believe that He is sovereign, period.
As I longed for God, I knew I could find everything I need through Him and with Him. I recall one day in late 2014 getting off the phone saying “God’s grace is sufficient.” As long as I was wrestling trying to make sense of my life, I would continue to wander in the desert. I had to surrender to the one who is the Creator of life. I had to let God be God and the finished work of the cross be true to me. God is more than able to wipe my eyes. God is more than able to mend my broken heart. God is more than able to give me a clear mind. God is able.
My dark days in 2014 came at no surprise to God; He already knew the events of my life well before the day I was born. God was thinking about me before the foundation of the world. He was also ordering my steps. How many know God will get you where He wants you to be?
Romans 8:28 became a scripture that gave me hope, it breathe life into my dying spirit, and I became excited about my future because God said He would use my pain, my past for my good and for His glory. This experience has pushed me into the arms of The Man that I love with all my heart.
2 Corinthians 12:9 became one of my favorite scriptures because God placed it on my heart during my time in the desert. God’s grace is all that I need. It was in my weakest moments that His powers worked best.
It was God’s power that I was able to put my pending divorce procedures on the back burner and care for the woman who cared for me when I was a baby. It was an honor and a privilege to take care of my mom during her last days here on earth. My mom had taken care of others her entire life, and she needed all of me, and I needed all of her. God gave me what I needed to be completely present with her. This was all God and none of me. If I had my way, I would have found that rock. God’s grace was all I needed to plan her homecoming and lay her body to rest. It brings me tears as I write this blog, but I know God doesn’t want me crying and neither does she. Her body is at rest but she’s in heaven, this I know. This weak vessel can do nothing on her own.
It is because of God’s grace that I was able to endure one of the toughest years of my life and can now share my story with the world. First and foremost, I love The Lord, and secondly I want Satan to know he doesn’t have a hold on me.
I’m a warrior now. My girls need me. My son needs me, and my family needs me to go to battle with them and for them. I am victorious because of what Jesus did for me on the cross. He said, “It is finished,” and that settles it. God’s grace is sufficient!